Tammy,
I went to today’s yoga class with the intention of watching the teacher carefully so I could perfect my poses. When we walked into the studio I looked for the spot right in front of the teacher. Shucks, taken. I placed my mat right behind an old guy. I put my water bottle and towel in place near my mat and dropped my flip flops and keys off at the back of the studio. I was ready to really learn. Why was I so attached to getting the poses “right?” I don’t know. Usually I just have fun and laugh about any weirdness I create.
Class started. In mountain pose the teacher told us to lean back toward the rear window. Next, we got into downward dog position. I tried to look at the teacher’s every last detail. The guy in front of me partially blocked my view of the teacher. I tried to look around him but accidentally caught a view of his runner’s shorts. They rode up his butt, exposing me to the pasty white part of his upper thighs. I quickly looked to the ground and held the dog pose for a few seconds. Meanwhile everybody else had already moved on to the next yoga position. What will happen when we do headstands? I don’t usually do the pose; instead I watch other students so I can see how to safely attempt the maneuver. This guy’s junk might spelunk and I would be left with more than my eyes should see. What do I do? I’ve got to think quickly. I’ve already seen more than I should. How do I avoid the impending eye raping? Doesn’t the teacher realize what’s going on? Wait. She could be trying to avoid her own visual assault. I made the decision to lay down in savasana for the rest of the class, with my eyes closed of course.
I wonder if I went to the wrong yoga class.
Gary Kahn
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