Tammy,

This week I took three yoga classes.  Is that too much?

I’m afraid if I practice yoga too much I may become severely depressed if I can’t get the poses right.  I wonder what kind of side effects the yoga Prozac presents.

I might start dreaming about doing yoga outdoors and end up severely crashing my head on the ground during tripod pose.  What’s wrong with a little yoga brain damage, right?

Or I might exit a restaurant after a couple of drinks and a good meal and look up and see a half moon in the sky.   I might then bend over and put one arm on the ground, the other hand in the air,  and put one leg in the air, spontaneously doing the half moon pose.  I then might fall over and pass out with undetermined injuries.  After witnessing such a display, I don’t think my friends  and other onlookers will be trying yoga any time soon.

What do you think?

Gary Kahn

Tammy,

For various reasons I didn’t go to my usual yoga classes this weekend.  It made me think  about habits and how to use them to change some of life’s patterns.  After all, one weekend away from yoga and I could abandon going at all.  If I don’t go to yoga next weekend, that’s no big deal.  Right?  Yoga teaches us that we are supposed to stay away from being self critical  so I can be okay with that.

Then I realized I could practice yoga on my own wherever and whenever I wanted.  There are classes online and available for downloading.  I could take yoga classes from thin air and “the cloud” and put them on my iPod, iPhone, iPad, iKitchen, iCar, iHouse, or iWhatever.  What has Steve Jobs done to i, I mean us?  Yoga teaches us to concentrate on ourselves, not compare ourselves to others, and modern yoga teaches us that one doesn’t need to be around others to practice, so I’m calling it iYoga.

Gary Kahn

Tammy,

I’m thinking that maybe I should take a yoga name.  What do you think of these?

From the bhujangasana pose I was thinking of the nickname bhuj.  It’s fun, different, cool, and people will remember something about me.

From the paschimottanasana pose I could call myself Paschi.  It rhymes with Kashi so maybe I can get sponsored by the cereal company.  People could even call me Pasch, but be aware that the spelling clearly indicates I am not related to Spice Girl Posh.

From the vashistasana pose, I could be called Vash.  I laugh a lot in yoga class and the French phrase la vache qui rit means laughing cow.  In Fact, that phrase is synonymous with a French cheese so maybe they can sponsor me.

What do you think?   Should I be cool or make some money while practicing yoga?

Gary Kahn

Tammy,

I went to my first Iyengar yoga class.

Every pose was deliberate and held for a lengthy period of time.  Blocks and belts were frequently used to help us with alignment.  In savasana we put a padded bolster under us to be gentle to the spine.

This is much different than the vinyasa flow classes where one doesn’t have time to ponder whether the alignment is right in any position.  Do the pose and if you don’t get it, on to the next pose.  Come on!  We don’t have time to wait for you.  Bolsters, blankets, and blocks.  Are you kidding?  Help?  Help?  Only the strongest make it to the advanced levels of yoga.

Maybe Iyengar wrote his legendary book Light on Yoga to let people know that one can just do yoga and have the time to get it right.  Maybe the Big I doesn’t want you sweating.  Maybe this Guruji thought Joseph Pilates was an uptight dude and yoga should be an endeavor where your body and mind become harmoniously in sync.

Gary Kahn

Tammy,

I attended a “hands on” yoga class.

First the teachers said they were going to massage some Chinese gel into our shoulders.  Since we are in South Florida where they’ve had problems with asbestos in Chinese drywall, I immediately became fearful that this class may be carcinogenic.  Shortly thereafter while I was in downward dog, a teacher put a harness around my waist and started pulling me backwards.  What are they trying to make me into?  A rickshaw driver.  Then, while in child’s pose, one of the teachers had me reach my hands forward and grab her ankles.  The thought crossed my mind that I was going to be attached to something by the other teacher and become become part of a human trafficking scheme.

Fortunately my brain eventually shut off, the neurosis went away, and I started to feel a slow bit of exhilaration run through my whole being.

Gary Kahn

Tammy,

Last week I stubbed my toe.  It didn’t hurt, rather there was blood that took almost a week to completely scab over.  It was at the top of the captain toe so I had to wear sandals almost every day, even at work.

I went to a yoga class and after a couple of poses realized that blood would start oozing if I went any further.  I laid down on my mat and decided to start savasana fifty minutes early.  That’s what yoga has taught me.  Make an effort and if you’ve done your best but can’t complete the task, head to the mental shower for a cleansing.  Actually, I fell asleep.  Maybe I should do this in real life.  If things aren’t going well at work, go to sleep.  Problems with a relationship or friendship?  Go to sleep.  Maybe I should get a sleeping bag for my car for when my effort isn’t good enough.

Am I mistaken or does yoga promote escapism?

Gary Kahn

Tammy,

In the past couple of weeks I’ve had a couple of peculiar yoga classes.

In the first one, the teacher told us to get into child’s pose.  I complied and then she promptly sat on my bum.

In the other class, the teacher had us do a pose I’ve never heard of and I can’t remember the name.  We were told to lie on our backs and cross our legs at the knees.  Our legs were supposed to go out to the sides.  The teacher came over and pushed my knees into my body.

Each time I had the most amazing feeling.  It was like someone was hugging those parts of my body.  It wasn’t sexual, just comforting beyond belief.  There was no vibe with the teacher, just nirvana for me.

They say yoga is supposed to feel good.  Well, these were the first instances that I’ve ever felt such a truly euphoric feeling in any part of my body during a yoga class.  Is this the feeling you’re supposed to get in yoga?  If it is, I might be like a crack addict trying to chase after those first couple of highs for the rest of my life.

Gary Kahn

Tammy,

Recently I went to yoga class and there were people hanging out chatting before, during, and afterward.  I started to  wonder why I don’t chat with others when I go to class.

Let’s see, first, most of the students are women and they seem to know each other.  What would I say?  Where did you get those yoga pants?  That might be odd coming out of my mouth and perhaps an unintentional, unwanted, flirtatious, pre-class gesture.  During class I don’t talk with anybody but once in a great while I hear some discussions in a corner of class.  Maybe  I should flip my dog a number  of times to get over there and join the chat.  Say, this might even provide some laughter for the talkers and be a great ice breaker.  After class, I like to be in solitude in the glow of my mind cleansing; maybe I could hug everybody and we could share our sweat together.

What do you think of these ideas for a start at socializing with my fellow yogis?

Gary Kahn

Tammy,

You know the swimming pool game Marco Polo?  What if yoga teachers played a similar game called pada gustasana?  I kinda like the rhythm, pada        gustasana                              pada        gustasana.

How ’bout Whispering Down the Lane sahaja bhujangasana and see what the last person has to say?

How ’bout singing 100 downward dogs on the mat, 100 downward dogs, take 1 down plank it to the ground, 99 dogs on the mat.  Wait a second, it’s yoga.  It’s supposed to be relaxing.  How ‘bout singing, 2 yogis sitting in meditation, 2 yogis sitting in meditation, one loses focus and they both go grab a beer, they both go grab a beer.  Now that’s what a real man likes to hear.

Gary Kahn