Tammy,

I’m confused about something I’ve never done before:  Bikram yoga.  I grouponed a set of 10 classes.

I understand there is a person named Bikram; how did this dude get a yoga named after him?  Did he pay the yoga gods a lot of money?  Are Patanjali and Pattabhi Jois rolling over in their graves?  How does Iyengar feel about these naming rights; was he part of the bidding process?  Was Bikram trying to keep up with Pilates by self naming a form of fitness?  Is this considered the beginning of yoga’s commercialization?

Why 26 poses?  When you’re crazy they say you’re playing with a half of a deck of cards (26)?  One pose to match each letter of the alphabet; if that’s the case, why don’t they give each pose a letter instead of a name?  Or one pose for each bone in the foot and ankle; so you can brake one bone for each pose.

Why so hot?  To make us feel as hot as it gets in India?  To test the human spirit when there is no air conditioning?  To ensure that people do yoga with the least amount of clothing (don’t blame me if your mind is in the gutter, I didn’t say it had to be 105 degrees)?

Should I sweat out these questions in 26 hours or just enjoy, I mean suffer through, the classes?

Gary Kahn

Tammy,

It was really hot tonight in your class.  We were 15 minutes into the class and I had to take off my shirt.  It’s taken me awhile but I think I may have gotten over the body image and body hair neuroses; even if I didn’t, we were now talking about avoiding heat exhaustion.   I am sure the other students were overheating too and didn’t have the chance to worry about my skeletal deformities.  As a guy I was pretty lucky that I had the luxury of going topless.  Sorry ladies, you get revenge when I exit the studio and regular people see me in yoga clothing.  I was thinking that if it was this hot, I should be getting a tan.  Perhaps the the studio should invest in some tanning lamps.

Without a shirt it was still pretty unbearable.  I  felt delusional and then all of a sudden I was doing Warrior III.  I had been trying that pose with you for months and now my dehydrated brain didn’t have the chance to think about any balance or fear issues.  I just followed your instructions and nothing else claimed any cerebral space.  All I had to do was look over at you and imitate what you were doing.  It was monkey see, monkey do.

If your yoga studio does change over to heated classes, I think they should serve cold beers after such an experience.

Gary Kahn

Tammy,

At the end of today’s class you said, “yoga is love.” It’s hard to think a couple could meet in a yoga class. The mate selection process is a little different, if not impossible, that’s for sure.

The women are all decked out in their designer yoga capri pants and matching tops with coordinated sport bras; whereas the guys are in raggy, baggy basketball shorts, tailored cut off shirts (not), and the highly erotic sweat bands. Most guys sweat like crazy so I don’t think any woman would be dreaming about an aromatically rank shower during a mating activity. In fact, one day as I was leaving class I heard one woman say that some guy was cute, but then she laughed and called him stinky dinky doo.   Somehow I don’t think that was an endearing pet name.

If a guy could get by this obstacle, what would be a great pickup line in yoga class? “You’re so hot we should do our own bikram yoga practice, just you and me.” Or, “when I meditate I only focus on you; are you thinking about me?” What about: “I love the way you pose; was that just for me?” Somehow I don’t think any woman would date such a guy. So tell me, what’s love got to do with yoga?

Gary Kahn