Email to My Yoga Teacher

Tammy,

I went to a Halloween party.

There were a few new topical costumes.  Osama Bin Laden was there and that of course brought the Navy Seals (though some of these guys must have been on a 2 week pass as they had quite the stomachs).  Justin Bieber was the favorite for men in their 30’s as they hoped to score with much younger girls.  Amy Winehouse look-alikes seemed to be accompanied by the return of the Kurt Cobain guys.

As I walked around the main room of the party, I saw something in the corner.  It was dark, with blood-red splotches, and looked like a large, strewn out, rag doll.  Immediately I thought of a gruesome opening crime scene from Law & Order:  Special Victims Unit.   I went over to the thing and heard what sounded like loud, troubled, breathing.  Then I heard the words, half dragonfly.  My brain said ‘what’s that?’  The person’s head popped up and I noticed a scarring on the forehead and fake blood oozing out of the neck and cheek.  Finally the woman said, “I’m a yoga teacher and the pose is half dragonfly.”  I didn’t know what pose she was talking about.  She said, “Please, either get down and do what I’m doing or let me practice in peace.”  I decided to try it.  Without warming up I was tight but felt stretched out.  We stayed like this for a while.  We were moving to do the other side of the body when I noticed lots of people had suddenly crowded around us wondering what was going on.  Maybe they expected some sort of Caligula show.  I got freaked.  I quickly thanked the ghoulish yoga teacher and exited; leaving my pride and strange party activity on the floor.  Is there any possibility the people with camera phones at the party don’t know how to upload anything to Facebook, YouTube, or Twitter?